Ghostlighting Is The New Dating Trend We're Already Tired Of

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If you're single and actively dating, chances are you've come across some pretty frustrating behaviors from potential partners. From ghosting to breadcrumbing, the world of modern dating is rife with confusing and hurtful trends. And now, it seems there's a new trend on the rise: ghostlighting.

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What is Ghostlighting?

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Ghostlighting is the act of someone you're dating suddenly and inexplicably becoming distant and unresponsive, only to reappear later on with a vague excuse for their disappearance. Essentially, it's a combination of ghosting and gaslighting, where the person not only disappears without explanation but also makes you feel like you're overreacting or being unreasonable for feeling hurt by their actions.

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The Rise of Ghostlighting

In the age of technology, it's easier than ever for people to disappear from our lives with the click of a button. With the prevalence of dating apps and social media, it's become all too common for someone to simply stop responding to messages or calls, leaving the other person feeling confused and hurt. Ghostlighting takes this behavior to the next level by making the person on the receiving end question their own feelings and reactions.

The Impact of Ghostlighting

Ghostlighting can have a significant impact on the mental and emotional well-being of the person being ghosted. It can lead to feelings of self-doubt, insecurity, and a lack of trust in future relationships. When someone repeatedly disappears and reappears without explanation, it can create a cycle of emotional turmoil that is difficult to break free from.

How to Spot Ghostlighting

The tricky thing about ghostlighting is that it can be difficult to spot until it's already happened. The person doing the ghostlighting may seem charming and attentive at first, only to slowly start pulling away without warning. They may make excuses for their absence and try to make you feel like you're being unreasonable for wanting their attention and affection.

Dealing with Ghostlighting

If you find yourself in a situation where you suspect you're being ghostlighted, it's important to trust your instincts and set boundaries for yourself. Don't be afraid to communicate your feelings and expectations with the person you're dating. If they continue to exhibit ghostlighting behavior, it may be time to reevaluate the relationship and consider moving on.

Moving Forward

It's important to remember that ghostlighting is not a reflection of your worth or desirability as a person. It's a behavior that says more about the person doing the ghostlighting than it does about you. If you find yourself caught up in a cycle of ghostlighting, it may be helpful to seek support from friends, family, or a therapist to process your feelings and gain clarity on the situation.


Ghostlighting is a frustrating and hurtful trend that has unfortunately become all too common in the world of modern dating. It's important to be aware of the signs of ghostlighting and to trust your instincts if you suspect it's happening to you. By setting boundaries and seeking support, you can navigate the murky waters of ghostlighting and ultimately find a relationship that is built on trust, respect, and open communication.